Why We Resist Change and How to Support Yourself Through It

Change is a natural and inevitable part of life, yet it’s one of the most challenging experiences we face as humans. Whether it’s a major life transition like starting a new job, the end of a relationship, or a season of personal growth, change often stirs up a mix of emotions -grief, fear, excitement, and everything in between.

It’s no wonder that even when we consciously desire growth, we can find ourselves resisting it. But why does this happen, and how can we navigate change with greater ease and resilience? Let’s explore the science behind resistance to change and some practical ways to support yourself through it.

Why do we resist change?

Even when change is positive, our subconscious mind may often resist it. This resistance isn’t a flaw; it’s part of how we’re wired to survive. Our brains and nervous systems are designed to prioritise safety and predictability.

1. The Brain’s need for familiarity
   The brain loves patterns and routines because they require less energy. Familiarity creates a sense of safety, even if the current situation isn’t ideal. Change disrupts these patterns, triggering a fear response and sending us into survival mode.

2. The role of the nervous system
   The nervous system interprets uncertainty as a potential threat, activating a fight, flight, or freeze response. This can leave us feeling dysregulated—anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck.

3. Emotional attachment to the past
   Letting go of what’s familiar often involves a sense of loss. Whether it’s an old habit, a place, a relationship or a role we’ve played, change can bring grief for what we’re leaving behind.

Understanding that resistance is a natural response can help us approach change with greater self-compassion. It’s not about “pushing through” but about working with your mind and body to ease the transition.

Tips for navigating change

Here are some practical ways to support yourself through the potential discomfort of change and create a sense of steadiness during times of uncertainty:

Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings

Change often brings a whirlwind of emotions - grief, fear, excitement, anxiety and even guilt. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment. By feeling and validating your emotions, you reduce internal conflict and create space for them to move through.

Try This: Take a few moments to sit quietly and ask yourself, What am I feeling right now? Breathe deeply and allow the emotions to surface without trying to fix or suppress them.

Reframe Resistance

Rather than seeing resistance as a block, view it as your mind’s way of trying to protect you. Acknowledge it with kindness and remind yourself that growth often requires stepping outside your comfort zone.

Try This: When resistance arises, say to yourself, Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I’m open to exploring this change at my own pace.

Ground Yourself in the Present

Change pulls us out of the familiar, creating feelings of instability. Grounding practices like breath, orienting and mindful awareness can help regulate your nervous system and provide a sense of safety in the here and now.

Try This: Take a moment to pause, breathe and connect with your surroundings using your 5 senses to anchor you in the present. Notice:

• 5 things you can see (e.g. the colours, textures, or shapes around you).

• 4 things you can touch (e.g. the surface of your chair, the feeling of your clothes).

• 3 things you can hear (e.g. birds outside, the hum of a fan, distant voices).

• 2 things you can smell (e.g. a candle, fresh air, or even a cup of tea).

• 1 thing you can taste (e.g. take a sip of water or notice the lingering taste in your mouth).

This practice brings your focus back to the present, helping calm your mind and body amidst the uncertainty of change.

Take Small, Consistent Steps

Big changes can feel overwhelming, but breaking them into smaller steps can make them more manageable. Focus on what you can control and take one small action at a time. Prioritise self-care and taking time to look after yourself.

Try This: Make a list of three simple actions you can take today to support yourself. These could include journaling, reaching out to a friend, or spending time in nature.

Lean on Support

You don’t have to navigate change alone. Whether it’s friends, family, or a coach, having someone to hold space for you can make a world of difference.

Try This: Reach out to a trusted person and share what you’re going through. If you’re feeling stuck, consider exploring somatic mind-body practices to help you move through resistance and find clarity.

The Beauty of Change

Change, while uncomfortable, is an invitation to grow and connect more deeply with yourself. It’s an opportunity to release old patterns, embrace new possibilities, and step into a fuller version of who you are.

It’s normal to feel fear and resistance as you navigate change. These feelings often arise because change asks us to shed old identities, leave behind the familiar, and step into the unknown. This process can feel disorienting, but it’s also where profound growth and transformation happen.

Every small step you take toward change - whether it’s letting go of what no longer serves you, exploring new possibilities, or simply being with your emotions, creates space for new opportunities to emerge.

If you’re feeling stuck, noticing old patterns resurfacing, or navigating a life transition, I’m here to support you. Somatic mind-body work can help you explore what’s holding you back, work through resistance and challenging emotions, and create lasting shifts that align with your authentic self.

If you would like to learn more how I may be able to support you through a trauma-informed, nervous system-centred approach, please feel free to contact me or book a free, no obligation discovery call.